Today I got my final set of results for university… and perhaps maybe forever?
I was happy. I managed to get a 2.1 in my worst subject, Law, and had been waiting extremely anxiously for the last three weeks for the results to come in.
In fact, anxiously is to put it mildly. I’ve been in complete freak-out mode!
My question is- why do we get so nervous about exam results- when worrying will do nothing to change the outcome of the mark?
Of course this was slightly different to other marks, since it was the last module of my degree and it was the subject I was least confident about, but since I was so unconfident it made me put a lot of work into my essay and exam revision.
The question on the day was difficult- I hadn’t been expecting it, and it threw me.
All of this- plus the possibility of failing and the possibility that a low mark could adversly affect my degree classification, made me a complete bundle of nerves.
I’d lie awake until 2am, contemplating a life of failure. I had butterflies for about a week. The great big ‘what if?’ played through my mind over and over again until I convinced myself failure was imminent.
And why? Because although some parts of our lives are down to other people’s actions, maybe you believe in fate, most things in life are down to our own decisions and actions.
There was no point worrying about the exam because I could not control the outcome, I couldn’t control the questions, I could only control the amount of revision I did and the amount of work I put in.
So really this has become a lesson to myself- sometimes all the hard work pays off, and unfortunately sometime’s it doesn’t. Worrying about the outcome of things far beyond your control is such a negative energy- and a waste of time- and it cannot change anything.
Perhaps worry is sometimes useful, as it helps us to care more about the outcome of something in the first instance, but in terms of fretting over something completely out of your hands, I think I’m going to give it a miss in the future.